Fall Like Fire
by Agent Jaid
Summary: When Mara Skywalker was in a speeder accident, she become frightened, self doubting and emotionally broken. As the strong woman struggles to regain control of her life, the one thing she thought she could count on disappears...
1. Default Chapter

**Dedication: **For my dear Nicole! Tis finally up girl!

**Thanks: **To my many readers who encouraged me to write this! Love you guys! And also to my beta, **MiaTieska** for all of her assistance with this story!

**Author: **Jaid

**Genre: **AU; Angst; Action

**Disclaimer: **The world is entirely in the pocket of George Lucas. I have slipped it out so I can play with it, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, depending on how you look at it) I didn't manage to snatch the deed to it so it still belongs to the Almighty God Lucas.

**Summary:** When Mara Skywalker was in a speeder accident, she becomes frightened, selfdoubting and emotionally broken. As the strong woman struggles to regain control of her life, the one thing she thought she could count on disappears...

**Author's Notes:** This story is the sequel for my songfic 'Words Miscommunicate'and if you want this to make any sense at all, you really, really should go read that first...

**WARNING: **

**_This story is filled with depression, darkness and angst. Not just "filled", I mean Filled. My readers are starting to get OD'ed off of it. _**

**_Please, proceed_** **_with Caution._**

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**Prologue**

_"I love you too, Mara." Luke whispered softly as he sat by her side in the cool, shining room. An IV drip stood silently to one side of the bed, the pale liquid hydrating the still form. The slender hand almost reflected the harsh florescent light and the thick needle on the back of her hand glittered, even through the gauze and tape that tried to mask the ugliness of it all. A thin sheet was pulled up under her arms, the gown that they had dressed her in barely covering her. Slender silver wires slid underneath the fabric to attach to tiny censors attached to her translucent skin._

_"I love you," Luke whispered again, desperate for a response. The room was empty of the Force, effects of the Ysalamiri that surrounded it. Mara had tried to kill herself with the Force and the memories she had replayed in her mind caused havoc with her system. The doctors said it was too dangerous. She was to be sealed off from the Force._

_"Mara, I-I love you…" Luke's voice cracked. "Ca-" he cut himself off and took a deep breath and tried to ask again. "Can you hear me?"_

_The room was empty of noise. More of a lack of something than something that was natural; it was quiet, dead. Luke shivered; then he noticed what was wrong about the silence. It wasn't complete. It struck him that it was something of a sacrilege that something was disturbing the tranquility of the room._

_The silence was still incomplete, and the steady drip of the IV resounded in the room._

_Mara never stirred._

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Hmm... will Mara ever wake up?


	2. 1 Eerie Hospital

**Nicole: ::**laughs:: Isn't it grand? I'm actually updating this after a fashion too... Ooooooh.... Hurrah for Deadened!Mara!!!!

**InsaneJediGirl: **Thank you for thinking this is a good start, I'm rather proud of this story. ::cough::ridiculously...::cough::

But, tell me. Are you SURE that Mara'll wake up?

**DMS: ::**glows:: Well done? Well done?? Hurray! I have been given praise!! And don't worry. As much as I love hurting characters, I love fixing them more. I just like to hurt them an awful lot. And I'm perfectly at ease with totally scrapping pairings, and mixing them up to be Han/Mara and other such things. So while **I **think it'll be a happy ending, you might want to start cringing. ;-)

(JUST KIDDING!!!! It'll have a happy ending, but it'll be a different happy ending then you'd expect.)

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**Chapter One**

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Mara sat on her hospital bed quietly. The sunlight was gentle and warm, filling the room with diluted gold. There were faint sounds coming from outside, but they all seemed very far away, and unable to touch her. She shivered and wrapped her weak arms around herself, shielding herself from something she couldn't identify.

Mara had been in the medward for thirteen days, and the 2-1B had assured her that she was healthy. That was something she doubted though. When she had seen her reflection in a mirror earlier, she had felt like crying. Her jade eyes were dazed and unfocused; her skin, usually an alabaster tone, was closer to a dirty white, and even her flame golden hair was lank and didn't reflect the light with its usual brilliancy. In short, she looked as bad as she felt.

A ghostly laugh filtered through the still air, a sound that was far more suited to the psychiatric ward then post-op room Mara was being held. Her mind was blank and utterly devoid of anything resembling a plan that would help her evade the eyes that hounded her every thought.

A female nurse walked in smoothly, studying a datapad intently. The nurse was tall, although not that tall for an Umbaran, Mara noted, easily identifying the woman's race from the way her pale skin darkened around her light yellow eyes and the seemingly-bland, shaggy cape she wore roundabout her shoulders. An eerie smile was on the other's lips, and Mara felt helpless to do anything other then smile faintly back.

"How are you doing today, Mistress Skywalker?" The smoothly modulated tones made Mara feel as if she were wrapped in warm silk.

"I'm fine," Mara whispered, wishing her voice were stronger.

"That's good." The nurse set the datapad down next to Mara on the bed and began to take her vitals. Mara tried to pay attention to what the nurse was saying, but she felt uncharacteristically mellow.

There was a gentle knock at the door and both women jerked their heads up to look at the man standing just outside the room.

"May I come in?" Luke asked, already stepping into the room, his warm blue eyes fastening onto Mara's barely awake green ones like they were a lifeline to sanity.

"Of course, Master Skywalker," the nurse gracefully inclined her head, pulling out a long needle from a case on her utility belt and preparing to draw blood from the patient.

Luke took a few steps in, but then simply hung back by the door, waiting for the nurse to be finished with the check up. The minutes ticked by softly, the pale sunlight darkening and seeming to almost smoother the room with dark golden honey. As the nurse finally began to pick up her things and leave, Luke smiled and walked forward to be by his wife's side, thrilled that she was finally alert.

Mara felt exposed when Luke finally reached her side and wrapped his warm, strong hands around one of her pale fragile ones. She swallowed weakly when the door hissed shut, and her husband leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"Oh Force Mara," Luke whispered as he pulled back, his blue eyes misty with unshed tears of thankfulness. "I love you."

Mara pulled her trembling hand out of his and laid it gently on his cheek. "Glad to hear it, farmboy." She whispered.

Luke sat next to her on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her as tenderly as he could. Mara's eyes closed tightly, trying to keep the tears from falling as they suddenly raced to her dry eyes.

Stop that, Mara ordered herself savagely. You don't cry. Only the weak cry, she lied to herself. Do you want to be weak? You have to be strong. You have to support him. After all, you're a failure in everything else.

Luke simply held Mara, not making a move to kiss her or to talk - something both of them knew that would have to be done. The ventilation system turned on, blowing cool air into the room and the faint strands of music that had Mara humming along. Luke chuckled. "You know this song, do you?" he asked, pulling back and brushing her hair back from her face tenderly.

Mara colored faintly, tingeing her cheeks with pink that, although slight, still stood out against her skin like an unnatural flush. Luke's face seemed to become shadowed with worry as he realized that his sharp-tongued wife wasn't going to toss one of the sarcastic, biting responses that were as much of a trademark of hers as was her flaming hair.

"Please go," Mara said, her voice snagging on a sob that persistently struggled up her throat. "I - I - Go, Luke."

Luke pulled back; her simply worded request hitting him harder then anything ever had before. Glancing down at his hand that was still threaded through her hair, he pulled it away and took a deep breath, trying to keep the raging hurt hidden from his wife.

Mara watched as her husband began to hide his emotions behind the mask of Jedi calm that she hated. She turned her head away, calling herself every kind of fool for believing that he had meant it when he had said those three tiny words that she had never heard out of the mouth of another. She reached down their bond, trying to sense his emotions and the tears that she had managed to contain before, now tumbled through her eyelashes.

_"I love you..."_ Luke's warm voice rang in her memory and she felt worse then ever. He hadn't meant it. He couldn't have meant it. If he had... then why was he blocking their bond? Why did his eyes fill with that noble look of self-sacrifice whenever he looked at her? He didn't really love her. But he was married to her, and Mara knew that for that fact alone he would lie to her, and do everything that was expected of him without ever giving her chance to see that the love was a lie.

Mara was still crying when Luke left, closing the door resolutely behind him.

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I hope you like it - This chapter was written rather quickly, but I'm still fairly pleased with it. Happy New Years Eve!!

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	3. 2 I'm a Failure

**Celtic Knot:** No, no! Don't cry! Please don't cry! -wails- (although I must say, you made my day when you said that) Better then _WM?_ Really? D Hurray! I really tried hard to make this one work, and since it such a.... a... shall we say 'unusual' topic, I have no point of reference whatsoever! bah!

"I just can't put into words how much I love this story."

o.o ...really?!?! I will practically worship you! May I quote you on that? Please? PLEASE?!?

I love doing evil things to characters, but, I usually try to fix things. A couple times I didn't, but that's just because Zekk is Zekk and he's so cute when we torture him... -hugs Zekk- ("The Nature of the Force"? I'll put it on my Must Read list.)

-sends email to you-

**SailorLeia:** My dear, you are so helpful. Your reviews make me feel so much better, I... it's just amazing. Thank you so much for giving me your praise, it really makes writing this story worth it. Serious thought... this is probably the first time I've sat down and said, "_I will write depressing, good, drama._" and actually tried to do just that. So aye, serious thought did go into it, but it was more desperation then serious. P

Ah... You want Mara to get through this and for Luke to get her to believe him, eh'? Well, what if I told you that, that was not the main point of this plot? And that it really wouldn't feature much? And that really, it's all just smoke and mirrors? I know you said you wanted that to be the direction for _Fire_, but, I really think that the direction I have it going is better for it. ) Read this chapter, it might help explain things a wee bit better...

**Jedi-lover: **Depressed? Oh I don't think so. Well, not at the _end_ anyways.... Thank you so much for reviewing!!!

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Chapter Two

Mara was released the next day, and Leia Organa-Solo was the one who picked Mara up.

Leia had her thick dark hair wound around her head in a braided crown, and was dressed in a suit that was fairly casual, the mellow green color complimenting her fair skin. She was smiling happily, her chestnut colored eyes dancing with joy as she arrived to pick up her sister-in-law.

Mara had dressed in a generic dark blue flightsuit and had tied her hair back in a neat ponytail. She felt as empty and worthless as she had the day before, and when Luke didn't come to pick her up, it only became worse.

"Mara!" Leia exclaimed warmly as she rushed into the room; choosing to uncharacteristically ignore the other patients in the room as she focused solely on Mara.

Mara looked skeptical, but hugged Leia back, albeit tentatively. Her tired green eyes closed as she laid her head on Leia's shoulder and she sighed, letting herself relax.

Leia stepped back, her bright smile making Mara feel even duller then she had when she had woken up. "Are you ready to go?"

"Where's Luke?" Mara asked in a soft whisper.

Leia's eyes darkened with some emotion that wasn't familiar to Mara and her smile faded slightly.

Leia was quiet for a few moments, before forcing the bright smile on her lips again and shaking her head. She laughed as gaily as she could. "Oh don't worry about that careless brother of mine, you know how he is! I'm sure he's just run into someone or a shop and has lost track of time. He'll turn up shortly!"

Mara hugged herself weakly, as though wrapping her arms around herself would shield the ugly fears from her. Leia took Mara's hands and pulled her to her feet.

"Come, come now!" Leia gave a wink at her quiet companion as she alternately pulled her and pushed her towards the exit. Hospital officials made as though to stop them, but the tiny Chief of State glared at them fiercely and they melted away into the background.

Several nurses winced in angry sympathy, wishing that they dared to insist that their former patient be taken out on a hover chair, but their superiors stopped them.

"Leia-" Mara said, trying to make Leia slow down, her muscles unused to the rushed activity.

"Not now," Leia said with a ghostly smile. "Smile. I promise Luke didn't mean to miss this."

All Mara could do though, was nod dumbly and let her sister-in-law tug her out of the post-op center and into the sunlight.

Luke hadn't come.

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Mara was packing their things into a case when Luke arrived at their apartment that evening. The Jedi Master entered their bedroom and froze as he caught sight of the slim red-head folding clothing nonchalantly.

"Mara!" Luke exclaimed breathlessly, joy warring with stunned amazement on his face. "You're home?!"

Mara spared him the briefest of glances before nodding her head. "Yes. Leia picked me up."

Luke winced at the unspoken accusation of not being there for her. "Well… You were given a clean bill of health?" he asked dumbly.

"Of course," Mara said tersely, grabbing a pair of boots and dropping them into the case on top of the one white shirt Luke owned.

Luke walked over to the bed and pulled her into his arms, cradling her against his body. "Thank the Force," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

Mara laid her head against his shoulder, the sense of déjà vu sweeping over her. "Luke…"

"What?" Luke pulled back.

"We need to talk." Mara said solemnly, her green eyes determined.

"Of course," Luke acquiesced and stepped back, bowing at the waist to her, extending one hand. "Shall we retire to the outer rooms?"

Mara laid her hand in his and smiled tightly. "Of course, Jedi Master, your suggestion has great merit."

Luke frowned slightly, but still curled his fingers around her hand and pulled her out of the room.

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"Mara, is something the matter?" Luke asked worriedly, they were seated side by side on a couch, their hands lying in their laps. Mara was staring at Luke's shoulder and Luke was looking at her face with concern. Luke lifted one hand to her cheek pushing back a wisp of hair that had escaped its band during Mara's packing expedition.

Mara nodded jerkily, and licked her lips. Her heart beat against her chest like mad butterfly wings and she tried to use the Force to calm herself. "I-I'm sorry Luke." she whispered.

Whatever it was that Luke had been expecting it wasn't that. His blue eyes widened comically and he blinked at her. "What?"

"I said I was sorry." Mara lifted her eyes to his defiantly. She tilted her chin up and almost dared him to contradict her. "I know I've been a-a disappointment to you in some ways, and I'm sorry. I'll get it right, eventually..." Mara glanced down at the couch for a brief moment, weighing what she was about to say, then back into her husband's eyes, but the look on his face stilled her words.

"You think you're a disappointment to me!?" Luke asked, stunned. "How the kriffin' – Why for sith's sake – How in hellfire could you ever think you're a disappointment to me?!"

"I know I am." Mara's voice sounded hollow, like it had while she was in the med-ward. "I keep trying to avoid what I need to do."

"Mara, Mara, you could **never** be a disappointment to me!" Luke tried to suppress the urge to shake her. _How could she ever think something like that?_ he wondered, the very idea making his heart wrench.

Mara chuckled. But it was a dry, sad sort of chuckle, and it did nothing to alleviate the tension in the room. "I thought you'd say that," Mara said softly, and Luke almost missed it.

But Luke didn't miss it and his pained confusion only deepened.

"But that's not what I wanted to say," Mara stated. "Well, not all of it."

"What is it?" Luke asked, not really paying attention.

"I need training, Skywalker." Mara said with deadly seriousness. "It's time I become a Jedi."

Luke's mind abandoned his quest to understand what his wife had meant by her comment and grabbed onto her words. His mind filled with the possibilities, and he tried to keep from leaping to his feet to start crowing for joy. "Do you mean it!?"

Mara nodded, the gigantic grin on Luke's face making her feel even more horrible then ever for refusing to train for so long.

"Oh Mara!" Luke said happily, almost throwing himself at her, his eyes shining. "That's wonderful! Oh thank the Force - I was terrified that it would be something major! Uh, not that this _isn't_ major, but that it would be something bad."

Mara forced herself to laugh. "You worry too much, farmboy."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Luke asked, reaching through their bond tentatively, almost like he was unsure of his reception. A wave of relief swept through him when she didn't throw up her shields. That relief transformed into clear, euphoric joy when he sensed that she meant every word of what she said.

Mara nodded decisively. "Would I have suggested if I didn't?" she challenged. _You would suggest it if you knew you had to,_ she told herself. _After all, that's why you're doing it, right? Otherwise you'll still be nothing other then his "project". A failure. And he'll never really love you. Not that someone like him ever would…_

"We'll start your training as soon as we get back home." Luke said simply, the joy still shimmering in his eyes, but the words felt more like a hammer to Mara, as it shattered any illusions that she harbored of being able to avoid becoming a Jedi.

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Oh dear, what am I _doing_?! hey - Muse! GET BACK HERE!! This wasn't supposed to be this cruel!!... I think...!!


	4. 3 Raining Fear

**Nameless One: **Once again, WELCOME to _Fire_! I hope you have a pleasent stay, and thank you oh so very much for reviewing!! It makes me glow.

**Jedi-Lover: **I'm glad you're enjoying it! I'm sorry it's rather late, but, I do have one more chapter after this one already written/beta'ed! Go me!

**SailorLeia:** Several things dear.

1. Please, call me 'Mel'; Jaid Ziaen takes far too long to type, don't you think?

2. I. Love. Your. Reiviews. They're so long and beautiful! I'm serious, they make me feel so much better about my writing.

_Excellent, excellent, excellent, EXCELLENT... on and did I mention this story is EXCELLENT._

uhm.... No, but please feel free to! ::teases::

_There is nothing wrong with drama!_

Beyond that I was convinced I couldn't write it... no, there's not!

_I still love this story!_

Aww! You're going to make me say "squee" if you keep that up!! And now I'm blushing.... ::hugs::

_You worried me for a moment when Mara said the four dreaded words for any relationship married or not... "We need to talk!"_

Mwahahahahaha! I loved writing that part! My beta almost killed me for writing it though, cause originally I had a conversation between Mara and Leia in there and the part where she tells Luke that they need to talk was going to be... THE END....

....but I decided not to.

_Never should have doubted your planning gunius for a second!_

No, you shouldn't have, but if you doubt me, then you'll review and then I'll feel so very very happy about everything!!! Well, mainly you, my writing and this fic but... hey! Isn't that what It's all about?!

_Keep up the great work, and thank you for being so nice in your answer! Your wonderful!_

Aww... Sweetie, you're way too generous! I love IR's, I almost prefer writing them to reading new reviews - does that show you how much I love them? Hell, if you'll take five minutes to review _Fire_, I sure as hell can take ten to give everyone an IR. Unless I have to go somewhere. But that's rather rare.

**CeeKay: **

_How can you write this stuff and tell me not to cry?!_

...Um.... I'm.... a hypocrit? >:) ---devil face!

_The roller coaster ride in this chapter is almost painful._

There's a chapter coming up that's twice as bad as that one was... (it's almost half way done, only the angsty part too! must work on the semi-fluff part... wooo...)

I'm so glad you're reading! It makes me feel so happy, CeeKay!! ::hugs::

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A/N:** Hey guys! Sorry about the delay, see, I forgot last week that I had the SAT on Saturday, so I didn't study untill like WEDNESDAY!?!?! Ah! Even for a homeschooler, it was really really dumb. So, I basically shut off my computer (although I did check my email) and did nothing. I've had this chapter sitting here for a while, in the "manage documents" section I mean, but I wanted to make sure I could do IR's for you guys so I refused to put it up! I'm sorry if it was a mistake... I hope you like this chapter! It was rather fun to write. **

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**Chapter Three**  
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That night, Mara and Luke lay side by side in bed, one asleep, and the other wide awake. Mara lay with her arms tucked around herself, and her eyes fastened on the clock beside the bed, Luke's hand resting on top of her hand in his sleep. The entire sky was filled with dark, angry clouds that poured down sheets of unforgiving rain. The occasional headlights from speeders shone through the large windows that spanned the outside wall, throwing contorted shadows across the walls and sending shivers down her spine.

An ominous crack of thunder, followed distantly by a flicker of lightening made Mara jump nervously, and tug the blankets up a little higher with her free hand. The rain fell faster as she simply stared, wide-eyed at the dreary world outside.

_It looks like life._ Mara compared dully, _So__ full of dark and ugliness... _

Mara could feel the despair sinking into her soul; the unworthiness that was the epitome of her life; the self loathing that, the inescapable knowledge that she was nothing more then a bleak, empty failure to the two men whose admiration she had ever wanted. But it obviously was too much to wish for; someone with her past could never - _should_ never even dream about being valued by others. After all, it was the people who were successes were valued. When you were nothing more then a failure, a miserable hopeless failure, hoping for the impossible would only end in pain. And pain was something she knew very well.

Mara rolled over so she was looking at Luke instead of out the window, straining with every little ounce of her will to keep the dark emotions inside of her at bay. Something that was proving to be impossible when confronted with the freezing world outside of their apartment.

Mara squeezed her eyes tightly shut, wishing that she could attack the doubts and fears physically, as if they were nothing but an opponent in a fight. The warm arm that had curled around her, tightened slightly and she opened her eyes with a small sigh.

Luke lay on his side, facing her. Mara sighed as she simply stared at him, admiring the way his pale skin glowed in the moonlight, how the gentle structure of his face threw weird shadows across his face. His dark blonde hair was an absolute wreck and was falling into his eyes. A ghost of a smile flitted across Mara's lips and she reached over and brushed some of the unruly strands back on his forehead, relishing the shivers that skittered down her spine when she ran her hands through his hair.

How can they be so different?

The chill that sank into Mara was unexpected as it was unwelcome. _What am I doing?_ she wondered, both scared and worried at the direction her thoughts were headed. _Luke is nothing like the Emperor..._

_Ah, but he was the first Force powerful being you met after the Emperor died,_ a coldly logical part of Mara's mind contradicted. _It is safe to reason that a bond as strong as the one that you shared with the Emperor would cause severe backlash when severed, and one of the consequences very well might've been to reestablish the bond that had been destroyed with someone else. It is entirely possible that Luke realized this and simply twisted it._

_Luke would never do something like that!_

_Because... he's too understanding?_

_He's Luke. He can't help being so understanding._

_Ah. And how was he being understanding when he constantly was trying to change you? Constantly trying to make you into what you feared most? Trying to re-create you?_

_He-he didn't know…_

_The Almighty Jedi Master? Not know? Hah! You delude yourself. You're nothing more then a project. A mission. A job. And probably the one and only failure that he's ever seen. Even Vader was a bigger success after all – didn't he manage to overcome his silly fears and become a Jedi? Even though he knew the risks better then you did?_

_Luke isn't like that…_

_Oh?_

_He's… he's…_

_He's a Jedi. You are not. It's as simple as that._

_No…_

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Luke opened one crystal blue eye, and then the other, disturbed by the flailing emotions that swirled in the Force around his sleeping wife. "Mara?" he whispered sleepily, pushing himself up onto his elbow. "You're shivering. Mara? Are you alright?"

Mara didn't seem to register what he was saying. Her glassy green eyes continued staring unseeingly at Luke's face, her unhealthily thin form wracked with shivers that refused to subside, even though she had the blankets clutched to her chest.

"Mara?" Luke asked, growing panicked when Mara failed to respond. He lifted a hand to her face, brushing her glinting strands of hair away from her parted lips. The backs of his fingers lay against her cheek for a brief moment, and he was suddenly struck by a feeling of absolute wrongness.

Her face was cold. Not like the kind of cold that you get from being in low temperatures, but a grey sort of cold, that meant something was very wrong.

Luke slid his arms under Mara's trembling form, pulling her close to his chest as he clambered out of bed, his destination fixed firmly in his mind.

His wife needed to go to the medward. Again.

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The terrifying dreams that had held Mara enthralled hid deep in her mind as awareness slowly crept through her body.

Warm.

She was warm.

Beating.

Luke.

Mara curled her fingers into the shoulder of Luke's tunic, mewing faintly. Luke froze, his swift stride checked at the slight movement from the woman in his arms.

"Mara?" Luke whispered softly, his blue eyes hopeful as he looked at her bowed head. "Mara? Can you hear me?"

"Yes," Mara whispered back, her throat stiff with echoes of terror. "What-what's going on?"

"You were cold, and you weren't blinking so…" Luke trailed off, suddenly realizing how idiotic his reasons sounded. "Uh – I was taking you back to the medward?"

"Oh," Mara tried to say, but Luke shook his head.

"I won't leave you in the medward," Luke said firmly. "I promise."

Mara's heart twisted and she knew that she was worrying him. _Damn you!_ she cursed herself. _It's not enough that you're a disappointment, you have to make his life hell too?!_

"I'm sorry," Mara said in as strong a voice as she could manage. "It's nothing; really. I was just trying to meditate on some memories. I didn't mean to worry you."

_I'll be good,_ Mara vowed to Luke as he carried her easily down the hall, heading for the medward. _I'll be okay, and I'll succeed this time – I won't fail again, I promise, Luke. I won't fail you._


	5. 4 Anakin

**A/N: Aww! You guys are so sweet! Five reviews! For ONE chapter :dances: I can't believe it!**

**CeeKay: **_Of course I'm reading! I've followed stories for over a dozen chapters that aren't half as good as this! I can't wait to see what you do with this._

Ugh, Now I'll feel guilty about half of everything I'm going to do to them! Arg... hehhe... And those stories were probably better then you're letting on. Fire isn't half as good as you people seem to think...

_Twice as bad as Chapter 3? Oh dear. I better make sure I have plenty tissues on hand.  
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Well, it made my friends who LIVE for angst and constantly tell me I'm really good at it and then get HYPER after reading my stuff, er, they were depressed for a couple days. :cackles: It was great. Even though I pretty much couldn't talk to Jon or Erin at all...

_I can't wait to read Chapter 5. I'm a musician, so I'm used to sitting on the edge of my seat, but this is ridiculous!_

Wait no more! Scootch! Reeeead! A Musician eh'? What do you play? I'm a pianist, (in my 11th year, but I'm actually not as good as you'd think) and I've been thinking about dropping piano for something different...

**Szhismine:** AH! A new reader :tackles: It's soo good to see you! Thank you thank you thank you! I love your review! I love it! I'm continueing! I hope you like! AH! A new reader! AH!

**Jedi-lover: **_This is a very interesting and well written story_.

:turns bright red: Aww... You're too sweet.

_I like it._

:hugs:

_But what the heck is wrong with Mara?_

A lot of stuff. I think I fully explain it all in the next chapter, but, this one just gives you a glimps of what her life is like normally. With Leia and the Solo clan anyways.

_While Luke and Mara are down at the medical ward they better stock up on a bunch of Zoloft or Prozac. Mara really needs to break out of her self-deprecating, destructive behavior._

Oh she will, but it'll be shock and guilt that'll knock her out of her- wait, no, she gets worse actually, she just starts doing stuff to save people. Anyways. A Self-Deprecating, Distructively-Behaving Mara is FUN!

Thank you OH SO much for taking time to read this! You make my day so much better!

**Mishi:** _If Mara had actually been written with some of these struggles, I'd like her a LOT better. _

:Sniffles: Mara has so much potential as a character, it pains me to see them screw her up! And besides, writing in troubles is far easier then fixing them. I'm glad you seem to find my variation of Mara to be more standable. You have no idea how much hearing something like that makes my heart feel lighter. I take it you're not exactly a rabid Mara-Fan like most of us, eh?... And yet you still read this story! And you thought well enough of it to review it! I can't tell you how much it means to me.

_As it is, your title made me think that her favorite shade of hair dye was cancelled, so shallow is she._

:LAUGHS: Oh dear! Oh dear! Hair Dye! Oh gosh oh gosh... Eheheheh... Close, but no dice. Mara doesn't use Hair Dye, anyways, unless she's going on a mission... Hehe... Out of curioisity, did this story seem improved or just interesting?

**SailorLeia:** _Dear Mel,Wow, that is easier, alot better on my fingers!_

:Giggles: Told yah so! I'm so glad you're taking me seriously. On my main SWFF site(the one where I first started posting all of these stories) everyone calls me "Jaidling", "AJ", "Imp", "Queen of Silliness" or "Queen of Death". Meh. They drive me nuts, they really really do...

_Some author's names are so long ((Yeah, this coming from someone with a mouthful name, like SailorLeia! Then again it's not the nine letter monstrosity of my real name! Christina, I have to make everyone shorten it to Tina!)) _

:nods: One of my favorite author's is Trickster-Jaina-Fel, and I HATE writing it out! It takes so long! ((Your name-SailorLeia- isn't that bad! It kinda reminds me of my brother Jon's... His is RK-Striker-5... Well, not really reminds me so much as that he's probably the only+25 year old guy that I know who is obsessed with Sailor Moon... Your name is Christina! That's such a pretty name! Although I'd probably nickname yousomething like "Ristin" instead of"Tina"...:grins impishly:))

_ANYWAYS! ANOTHER WONDERFUL CHAPTER! I love how your story deals with real issues that could 'really'occur between everyone's favorite couple! _

I'm finding it rather difficult however, to keep Mara locked into this slightly depressed attitude. :cough:More then slightly. :cough: I know what you mean about "really occuring", but at the same time, Star Wars is almost too... um... kiddieish? To deal with things like this. They're getting more and more adult now, but they're also losing readers right and left. I don't think they'd really want to deal with a depressed, more-then-slightly-psychotic assassin who has massive Force talent. ((Think Vader, just more dangerous))

_It's a breath of fresh-air really ((I love fluff too, don't get me wrong. But I really find your tale refreshing!)) _

It's not only a breath of fresh-air, Dah'lin, it's about to get positivly arctic around here:cackles: Oh I adore fluff! Can I write fluff? Uh... Not really... The only fluff I've written, I wrote for characters I DISPISE:Shudders:

_And I'm glad you don't mind my long, wordy reveiws. They do have a tendacity to get long on me, amazing how those things sneak up on you!_

Oh but they're so much fun when they sneak up on you! Long, wordy reviews are one of the reason I can keep up writing theses stories. :hugs: Thank you so much Ristin. :cough: ((or do you want me to call you SaiL?))

_Keep up the wonderful work, I'll definitly be reading._

YAY! That means you'll be reading Chapter IV in a couple seconds! YAY:hugs: Thanks so much for putting up with this...

**

* * *

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Chapter Four  
.

-

Mara woke up with her cheek pressed against a very warm chest, and a shirt clutched tightly in her fists. Two strong arms were wrapped around her back, holding her securely and offering her a safe haven that she clung to as best she could.

A gentle flutter of hope seemed to poke her through the bond she shared with Luke, and Mara whimpered, but forced herself to reach back to him and not shy away.

The wave of relief that swept over Mara made her feel ashamed of herself, as well as reminded her of the promise she had made herself.

"Luke?" Mara whispered, opening her eyes a little and tipping her head back to stare at his cheek.

"Yes, love?" Luke whispered back, looking down at Mara's shadowy green eyes, his gentle smile turning his eyes into a brilliant sky blue color that made her feel warm. "You slept well?"

"Mm-hmm," Mara nodded minutely. "Can we go now?"

Luke let go of her with one arm and reached over to press a red circle on the side of her bed. "As soon as the doctor says so, I promise."

Mara's eyes darkened a bit, but she refused to acknowledge the fear, mistrust, sorrow, and panic his words instilled in her. Her instinctive shielding flew into place around the blackness that threatened her soul, and once again, Mara seemed to be wholly of light, and not tainted by the darkness that lurked inside.

"I trust you Luke," Mara whispered with a smile, closing her eyes and nestling her head under his chin to hide the wary disbelief that was painted in her quiet jade green eyes. _I do,_ she tried to assure herself. _He doesn't mean to hurt me on purpose. He honestly means what he says. I can trust him. _

If I can trust him, then why does his smile make me want to turn around and run? Mara wondered inside her heart, unwilling to give the feelings he stirred in her names.

Mara Jade Skywalker was afraid of nothing. Not even of loving someone. Not even of giving her heart to another. Especially not that.

Even when it was true.

-

Almost a week later, Mara and Luke were finally ready to leave Coruscant. The Solo clan had been able to tear themselves away to see them off, and Leia was sincerely wishing she hadn't tried so hard to make it. It was difficult for her to watch Mara interact with her babies. Particularly when she knew that they were all blinded by Mara's seeming good-nature. Shavit, sometimes even Leia herself was fooled by the phoenix haired woman.

Leia's attention snapped back to her children. The twins were pouting and Anakin was unashamedly hanging onto Mara's waist. Leia barely suppressed a growl of irritation. _Get away from them!_ she wanted to yell.

"Do you _have_ to go?" Anakin pleaded, his big blue eyes imploring her to give in to his request. Leia's anger grew tenfold as Mara brushed a hand through his hair, smiling at her youngest nephew.

"Yes, I _have_ to go," Mara chided him gently. "Besides, you'll be coming to Yavin IV soon."

"Not before Jaca and Jaya," Anakin grumbled, burying his face in her side. "They'll get to see you more, sooner."

Mara pulled his head back with a grin. "Can you blame them? After all, they were born before you were."

Anakin blushed. "It wasn't my fault; I don't think..." he fell silent for a moment, appearing to consider the meaning of this. "No," he finally announced. "It's Dad's fault, I'm positive! I couldn't have done anything about it."

Han's mouth gaped open, and the other adults broke out laughing, even Leia. "Now see here-" Han demanded, taking a step forward.

"I'd really rather not." Luke muttered and Leia laughed even louder. An odd look flitted across Mara's face at Luke's teasing of his brother-in-law, but only Anakin noticed it.

Luke stepped up behind his wife and wrapped an arm around her waist, forcing Anakin to pull away from her with a disappointed look on his face. "Aww," Anakin complained. "You're not going to get all mushy are you?"

Luke kissed Mara's neck and smirked at Anakin, "Don't tell your mom."

"Awww," Anakin grumbled.

Mara crossed her arms across her stomach, holding Luke's arms lightly and leaning back against his chest. "We have to get going, we're already an hour behind."

"Aww!"

"Noo!"

"You can't-"

All three children burst out talking at the same time, unwilling to let Luke and Mara escape them.

Mara sighed inwardly and smiled wearily. She loved the kids, really she did, but sometimes (like now), she just wanted to wash her hands of them and be done. Luke turned his head to the side and pressed a kiss to the top of Mara's head to hide a smile at her thoughts.

"I thought you wanted children just like them," Luke whispered in her ear and Mara's face turned almost as red as her hair.

Anakin scolded his uncle for making his aunt blush, but Mara wasn't paying attention to them anymore. She needed to get out. Away from their cheerful, untainted, well-meaning selves that only made her feel worse about the darkness she held trapped inside her.

Breaking away from her husband's embrace, Mara knelt down and hugged Anakin. "Take care of your dad, you hear Squirt?" Mara admonished lightly, mussing up his hair.

"Hey!" Anakin protested, trying to smooth his hair down again. He grinned toothily at his aunt, letting his laughter spill out through his blue eyes. "Sure thing Aunt Mara. Dad won't ever know either."

"Oh I won't?" Han grumbled, turning to his wife. "Why're they talking about me like I'm not here!"

"Not now dear," Leia said absentmindedly.

Han threw his hands up in the air. "Never mind."

Jaina hugged her aunt, while Jacen just offered a hand shake, and Mara smiled at how grown-up he was trying to seem. "Take care of your mom, okay?" Mara tried to wheedle out of them.

"Nah, she can take of herself – and us! She's the mom for a reason." Jaina argued, and stepped back.

"Jaya's just sore that mom grounded her for messing with the cleaning droid again. AGAIN." Jacen said smugly.

Mara shook her head in mock despair and turned to Han and Leia, who were both embracing Luke. Leia's eyes were closed and she and her brother were hugging tightly, making Mara feel almost uneasy for wanting to separate them. Leia seemed to sense what Mara was thinking and her dark brown eyes opened, flashing with warning that sent Mara back a hasty step.

Luke sensed Mara's unease and pulled away from Leia. "Mara? What is it?" he asked with concern.

"Honey, did you _have_ to glare at her?" Han asked his wife.

"Quiet, Han. I don't think Luke knows." Leia ordered him absent mindedly, watching her sister-in-law warily.

"It's nothing Luke. I was just thinking of some of the things I'll be doing on Yavin IV…" Mara lied.

Luke laughed. "You'll be fine. Those tests were never really intended for someone of your ability."

"I don't really _have_ ability right now."

"Actually I've been sort of training you for the past year," Luke informed her, and Mara felt cold.

_So.__ Even when I thought he was letting me chose my own path, he sways me to the side of the Jedi. _

You needed the training- something inside Mara tried to tell her.

_He promised he wouldn't try to change me._ She wanted to scream. _I believed him!_

"I have." It wasn't a question, and Luke's smile faded slightly.

"Mara? Is something wrong?"

"No."

"Alright…" _Once we're in hyperspace, will you tell me?_ Luke asked her silently as he took her hand and pulled her towards her ship.

Mara's mind raced frantically to try to construct something that Luke would believe. _Of-of course._

_Thank you, Love._

-

"Bye Auntie Mara!" Anakin called as the Skywalkers ran into their ship, hand in hand.

"G'bye Uncle Luke! G'bye Aunt Mara!" Jaina and Jacen yelled, jumping up and down, waving at their aunt and uncle.

Leia watched the ship silently as it raised the ramp, and was preped for take off. _The Demon is going to do something to Luke,_ she thought cautiously, staring intently at the cockpit of the yacht. _I'll be damned if I let her ruin his life…_

"Honey? Leia? What are you doing?" Han asked, the worry he felt about the intense fanatical light shining in his wife's normally compassionate eyes translating to strain in his voice.

Leia seemed to get a jolt and then the light faded. She smiled gently at her husband and rested her hand on his arm. "It's nothing, don't worry about it."

Han shook his head, but didn't say anything as he and his entire family waved goodbye to the two Jedi as they left the planet, heading for the place they called 'home'.

It would be the last time that they saw Luke and Mara Skywalker.

* * *

Now, now, stop hyperventilating, Dears... breath... breath... 


	6. 5 Inner Battle

**Jedi-lover:** _Another well written post, but boy is this story depressing._

I'm terribly sorry... This chapter isn't any better either! But, the next one should be more light-hearted. Well, to a point. This entire story is horribly dark now that I think about it...

_Please tell me there is going to be a happy ending. I like happy endings._

It'll be a happy ending for Luke and Mara... but it's definately something you won't think of now. I promise they'll end up together in the end! Even though they'll go through hell first but...

_But somehow I believe I am not going to get it...at least not right away._

...pretty much...

_Why do I have a bad feeling that somebody is going to go over to the Darkside and kill somebody else with a lightsaber? I guess I am just being paranoid._

No... but going to the Darkside is one of the main plot points here. Or rather, the start of a destruction sequence that will rock the firm world this is set in...

_Keep up the good work.  
_  
I will! Thank you so much!

_REMEMBER I WANT A HAPPY ENDING!_

:Salutes: Yes Ma'am!

**Szhismine:** _what's going on..._

An evil!twisted plot?...

_what's up with Mara and Leia..._

Leia hates Mara. Mara knows it and thinks she deserves it. Theyalllive happily ever after.

_GAH THE LAST TIME THEY'LL SEE LUKE AND MARA?_

Yup! So! PROUD! of! Self!

_tries to breathe but ends up exploding_

Holy... I have exploding readers! Ah! No! No exploding:tosses oxygen canisters at the poor readers before they can explode:

_KEEP WRITING PLEASE!_

I do! I am. Or, rather, I'm trying...

**CeeKay: **_Argh! Evil nasty cliffhanger! Sheesh, that was mean. If I wasn't already hooked, I would be now._

Yes! I still have the touch! (teh touch... of EVIL!)

_I have to disagree with you. "Fall Like Fire" is twice as good as you think. I swear. I don't say things like that lightly._

You're making me blush horribly, Dearest Madam...And I thank you for the insurmountable trust you're placing in me, and I hope I'll be able to keep it in good faith.

_And to answer your question, I've been playing euphonium for 10 years. If you don't know what that is (and almost nobody does), it looks like a little tuba, plays in the same range as the trombone, and sounds like a fat French horn._

You're right... I didn't know what it was... but I have seen them before! I just called them "The Smaller Ones Of Those" and pointed at the tuba's...

**CrazyGeek22:****WELCOME TO **Fall Like Fire** OH WONDERFUL REVIEWER! I am SO thrilled that you saw fit to review this, it means so much to me!**

_y does Leia hate Mara so much?_

Plot device. Mainly for the ending which might not be reasonable unless I make Leia hate Mara. I'll see if I can fit in a flashback to explain why Leia hates Mara...

_Agreed they aren't on the best of terms, but come on!_

Teh Plot demands it I tell you!

_I really liked WM, but this has been going on a little too long. I loovvee angst, but really, I think this is too much at times. This is not a flame, I am just suggesting that you lighten up, just a tad._

Don't worry, I didn't think of it as a flame. I'm really sorry that this is dragging, but, I honestly have to admit that it's not going to get any better. Well, it will at the end but I'm quite a ways away from it.

_By the way, I'm still not breathing. I know you're not going to kill them, but Luke and Leia can't be seperated forever!_

:Laughs: Not going to kill them, eh'? Says who? I'm sorry, I'm being a little brat, but... your comment was just so ironic. And you shouldn't worry about Luke and Leia as much as you should Luke and Mara...

**MaraJadeSkywalkerJedi**:_ o0_

Aw! So cute!

_Interesting story, that... Keep it up, can't help but wonder what's gonna happen._

LOTS is going to happen. Lots and lots and lots...

**AN:** _Okay guys, this is just a heads up. I'll be leaving the country at the end of the month till June. I'll try to get out two or three more chapters before then, but I might not be able to. My mom had surgery on Friday and the doctors tentativly let her come home today and we're having to baby her right now and it's taking up a lot of my time... so... yeah. Enjoy!_

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Five**

The day was bright, cold, and windy – something rarely seen on the jungle planet – when the _Fires Freedom_ landed on Yavin IV several days later. Mara Skywalker strode down the ramp onto the landing platform, her pack slung over one shoulder and another held tightly in her right hand. If anyone had bothered to look close enough, her white knuckles would have been plainly obvious. The thick braid that hung down her back was tighter then comfort should allow, but she was beyond noticing. The haunted look in her green eyes no longer was visible, and the former Trader radiated confidence. And she knew it was false confidence.

"Hey, wait, Mara!" Luke Skywalker yelled as he stumbled, and fell down the ramp after his wife.

A smile of real amusement lit up Mara's face as she turned to face her red-cheeked husband as he picked himself up off the ground and brushed his shirt off and grabbed the bags he had dropped.

"Having fun?" Mara asked teasingly.

"Oh _yes_," Luke said sarcastically. "Loads of fun."

Mara shifted her weight to one leg, watching her husband with undisguised amusement as he hurried to join her. Her loose garments fluttered madly in the wind, and Mara's attention was distracted by the odd sensation. In lieu of her normal black form-fitting jumpsuit, she was wearing flat-footed boots, loose brown pants, and a lightish red (pink) shirt that supposedly belonged to her husband, not that he'd ever admit to it. The clothes contrasted strangely with her military-grade tense braid and the harshness of her exotic features, but in a strange way they seemed to compliment them as well.

"I'll make sure to let you do it again for your life-day then," Mara said with almost perfect seriousness.

"…Life-day?" Luke asked, frozen in mid-step, his eyes opened in almost comical horror. "Dear Force no! Not that!"

"Ah, face it Luke, you'll soon be a year older." Mara tormented impishly, smirking at him.

"I will _never_ grow up," Luke declared haughtily.

"Oh I wasn't hoping for that much," Mara muttered. "Just for grey hairs. You haven't changed in forever. It isn't fair."

"Jade, you've changed less then I have. What the sith are you on about?" Luke was genuinely puzzled.

"It's your attitude. You seem like a teen still, how do you do that by the way?"

"What?"

"Seem so unknowing of your own vitality."

"Huh?" Luke blinked, unfreezing to hurry after Mara. "What do you mean?"

Mara shifted under the weight of the bags, and ignored the question. "They're waiting up for us up at the temple, we should get going."

"Mara, what are you talking about?" Luke persisted.

"About being teased mercilessly for being late," Mara evaded, not meeting Luke's eyes as she turned away.

"Mara…" Luke trailed off, the conversation he had, had with his wife two weeks before flashing into his mind. The one where Mara had said he thought she was a disappointment. The same helpless rage swamped his senses as the one that had held him in thrall till Mara had asked to be trained as a Jedi…

Luke stilled. She had used training to be a Jedi to distract him. To get him to leave that topic alone.

"It's nothing Luke, really." Mara shook her head and turned around so she could walk backwards. "Trust me."

Luke's automatic response died when she said those two little words. He felt uneasy for some reason, but he was unable – or unwilling – to identify it. He forced a smile and he cocked his head at her. "Of course I trust you. But that doesn't get you out of that conversation." _Oh, trust me, Lady Skywalker. We'll be having that conversation…_

"Which one?"

"The one you've been dodging for weeks." Luke broke into a small jog until he was close enough to Mara to pull the bag off her shoulder, sling it onto his own, and capture her hand in his with a familiarity that would've been alien even a few months before.

"Oh. **That** conversation." Mara sounded less then thrilled, and it made Luke even more nervous.

Mara bit her lower lip. _Damn! Can't he just leave that alone? I don't want to have that conversation. He'd see everything in me if I did that, and he already views me as a task… what would he do to me if I became a chore he hated?_

"If becoming a Jedi is what's worrying you so much, it's the right choice." Luke tried to assure her. "I promise you that."

"It's not that, exactly," Mara hesitated, wondering if she was actually brave enough to open up Luke, and hating herself for being so full of fear.

Luke stared at her impassively, waiting for an explanation that Mara was incapable of giving him.

"If I become a Jedi, then can we have this conversation?" Mara asked, her voice slightly strained, praying with all her heart that he would say yes and give her enough time to make herself worthy of his admiration, to prove she _could_ be a success, even though she was a failure in the past.

"Will you level with me?" Luke questioned.

"Yes." Mara said with as much surety that she could muster.

"Okay then, we'll come back to this conversation later." Luke raised their linked hands to his face and pressed a gentle kiss to Mara's fingers. Mara smiled softly, her cheeks blushing a little as she tried to ignore the love she felt for the gentle Jedi.  
She wasn't worth this.

-

_Great going, Genius._ Mara snapped at herself. _You gave your _word_! How could you be so… so… caviler about this? _

Luke has a right to know!

To know what? Girl, he already KNOWS_ you're a failure. Admitting it all to him won't change anything. _

I'll… I'll tell him about my old Master - Palpetine. How I'm remembering what he told me.

Please, spare me. You've always been hearing voices, why should now be anything special?

It just is! I've just gotten worse since I heard it, not that I ever was a particularly good… well…. Anything…

_Exactly.__ You were a failure as a Hand – you had to wait SEVEN years before you could carry out your last order! And even then you only got off on a technicality. Smuggler? If it wasn't for you, Karrde would still be able to be one. Now he has to be 'Respectable'. Whose fault is that? _

…Mine?

Got it in one. You're a failure as a wife – or did you notice how Luke wasn't even there when you were released from the medward. If you were a better wife, he would've cared enough to be there.

Stop saying those things!

What? The truth?

It hurts.

Truth hurts. It's how you separate the truth from lies. Lies feel good, but the truth never feels good. That's _the truth! _

NOO! I can't accept that! Just… stop it! Stop talking!

And you were a failure as a Force adept! Shrieked the voice inside Mara's head, unable to stop pointing out all of her failures.

_I am one of the most powerful- _

Powerful? You think talking to people inside your head is a – a – a talent of some sort! It only illustrates how much of a freak you are! Normal people don't do that. They can do things like heal, or help animals, not hone in one a person, hunt them down and slaughter them with the least bit of effort! THAT is what makes you such a failure! That's all you were made to do, but you can't do it! You showed MERCY_ to your enemies! And your weakness has only grown since you met Skywalker. _

Mercy is not a weakness; it is a-

Foolish emotion. It tampers with your common sense. It turns you into a fool. A failure.

No, it's NOT!

It does! It was illustrated time and time again in the Empire! Those who showed mercy failed_, and those that did what was _right_ were the ones worth remembering. _

No. I can't accept that! I won't!

You can't hide from the truth!

The truth can't be real! I won't let it be real! I'll be a Jedi! A good one! Hell, I'll be the best Jedi you ever saw!

Best Jedi? Why do you go against everything you were ever taught? The Jedi are evil, self-serving, ego-driven, self-righteous fools! And you should know as well as I do that there is no such thing as a good_ Jedi. _

Luke is one.

Skywalker… The man you should've killed. That was the reason that you were made. Is what the Master wanted you to do so difficult? All you were supposed to do was to help him. To kill his enemies. If you had managed to that, then he might've in time learned to love you. After all, you're not completely unlovable, you just make yourself so.

Luke loves me! He said so himself!

And the Master could've said he was really a Gungan! Would that've made it any truer?

The Master lied to me. I wouldn't have trusted him.

Oh… but you would've. Because he's the only one that really could ever love you. He's the only one that could care about you. He didn't try to change you – he gave you guidelines and let you follow them according to your own will. Skywalker can't even let you walk around on your own; he has to hold your hand!

He means it to show how much he cares about me! I told you he loves me!

He's controlling you. Can't you see it? You can't even think ill of him.

Luke would never do that.

Oh? Then why is he going to interrupt you and make you meditate – with_ him? _

He won't. He said he'd be talking with Kam and Tionne for a long time, catching up on things here at the acade-

"Mara?" Luke's clear voice sliced through her inner battle as cleanly as a lightsaber as he opened the door to their quarters and walked into the entryway.

Mara forced herself up on slightly-trembling knees, heading for the doorway. "Y-yes?"

"I was wondering if you wouldn't mind meditating with me for a while, I think I need it rather badly." Luke explained rather sheepishly when he saw her. "Kam said I was far too distracted to be of any use to him and sent me away."

Mara smiled at him, leaning her shoulder against the doorjamb as he walked closer to her and took her hand in both of his. "Kam sent you away?" she snickered. "Of course you can meditate with me."

Luke smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Mara Skywalker, for you're oh so generous offer."

"My pleasure entirely, farmboy," Mara's eyes sparkled at Luke and he felt at peace.

_You see? He is troubled by something. He needs my support, he isn't controlling me._ Mara said sincerely, ignoring the other voice in her head to the best of her formidable talent. _He loves me. He says he loves me…_

_Just wait, Jade. One day, you'll see I'm right. You'll see._

* * *

Mara's given her word, but there are so many ways to escape it. I mean, she got out of killing Luke... can she get out of explaining this problem to him?


	7. One Year Later

**CeeKay:** _"Dearest Madam"? Now who's blushing horribly?_

Hehe… both of us?

_I loved Mara's mental battle._

It was really fun to write, it just… was so… delightful! And easy.

_They way you've been writing her throughout the story is pure genius, but especially this chapter. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but you've really put the readers inside her head. I could feel what she felt - and that's all one can ask of a writer._

…I love you CeeKay. You make me glow sooo badly!

_I can't wait to read the next chapter! _

Well, actually you can, cause I haven't put anything up since… holy crap… uh, 6ish months. So. Ahem. Moooooooooving on. Here t'is!

**Ristin:** _Sorry I haven't reviewed in a while, but I had a bad case of writer's block and a migraine that lasted an entire week... OUCH!_

Oh no! I am so sorry, hon! gives hugs

_I just read your lastest two chapters and I just had to drop a note and tell you, you've still got it!_

Thank you so much! Reviews make the world go 'round…… well, my world anyways. ;)

_The little Solos' were soo cute, but Leia's anger kind of confused me. Does she not like Mara, she seemed to earlier. That was the only thing that got me, everything else was perfect, as usual._

Ah, ah, ah… did I say Leia liked Mara? Nooo, Leia just didn't feel threatened. Leia DISPISES Mara. don't worry, I'll explain more in about five chapters…

_Luke is such a kid in this chapter, and I like him that way!_

He's a farmboy! Not a hermit! He trips and falls and gets embarrassed. That's our precious Lukie.

_And I liked Mara's inter conflict, very well written! Then again, all of this story is very well written._

Hehe, that seems to be a reoccurring favorite.

_Ristin, huh? Now that's one none of my friends have come-up with ((Amazing, and there's so many things they came up with))! I still love this story, keep up the excellent work!_

thank you! I've tried, and I hope you enjoy the results, Dearest. ((Amazing, no? beams))

**Jedi-lover: **_I changed my mind, Mara does not need Prozac...she needs somebody to smack her upside the head. _

chokes Ahahahahahah!

"_Get control of yourself woman!" Thwack _

"_Stop wallowing in your insipid melancholy!"_

chokes Mara…. getting thwacked…. AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!

_This seems like hormone produced depression. She is not pregnant, is she?_

She wasn't before you made that comment… giggles evilly

_Good job. This story is interesting in a depressing kind of way. ;) _

Ohhh, you have no idea. My boyfriend broke up with me and fell in love with a little mauve haired bitch a week later – their first date was on OUR anniversary – er, anyways, the point behind that is that I wrote about four chapters under that mood so it gets kinda bad.

_I will keep you to your word that this will have a happy ending. I hope this doesn't end up like that movie 'Sommersby' with Richard Gene. Love story my arse! I was so depressed at the ending of that film that I am still mad 10 years later._

0o… Uh… well, I think it's happy! Mara ends up with the right guy and all the bad guys get squished! So… happy ending? But it's a little complicated so I don't know if you'll fully agree with the whole "happy ending". Er, I hope you will.

**ANYWAYS! On… with chapter six…**

**Chapter Six**

_almost a year later_

Mara spun in a tightly controlled circle, reaching out with the Force to sense where the bolts from the last of twelve training probes would strike at her. A blindfold was tied around her eyes, and plugs in her ears deprived her of two of the most basic senses that a human was born with, yet the Jedi-trainee didn't misstep once. Her brilliant phoenix colored hair was braided around her head to keep it out of the sweeping blade of her lightsaber.

The Force filled Mara's mind, whispering the future to her, showing her the attacks before they occurred and she reacted perfectly, turning the blasts away with a grace that was undeniable.

-----

"She's beautiful," Luke breathed and Kam didn't even bother to try to hide the ironic smile on his face.

"Her technique isn't half bad either," Kam said, clapping Luke on the shoulder. "I agree with your assessment. She's ready for the trials."

Tionne spoke up softly, her silver eyes pensive. "She would've been ready a lot sooner then now if you had just let her go on missions more often."

"If there had been any missions suited to her, I would've." Luke said dreamily, staring distractedly at his wife.

"The only mission you've let her go on was one to accompany Lando on a presumably 'dangerous' mission, and that was to one of the damnedest pacifistic worlds ever, man! She came back with close to half a million credits from that one too." Kam laughed.

Luke had the decency to blush. "I just don't want anything to happen to her."

"I know," Kam said in a quieter voice, knowing that Luke was thinking about the near-fatal accident that Mara had been in the year before. "You're going to have to learn to let Mara go, you know. She's not the kind to take protecting very well. In fact I'm amazed at how easily she took the restrictions you put on her as is."

Luke smiled roguishly. "I just told her that it was standard procedures for Jedi trainees."

"And she _believed_ you?" Tionne stared at Luke, her mouth gaping open a bit.

"Why shouldn't she have?" Luke blinked.

Tionne just shook her head and didn't even bother trying to argue with him. "Men," she muttered under her breath.

"Yes darling?" Kam asked teasingly, reaching out to grab Tionne by the waist and pull her onto his lap. "Did you say something?"

"No," Tionne said innocently. "What ever gave you that idea?"

"Oh I don't know," Kam trailed off, leaning his forehead against hers. Tionne slid her hands into Kam's hair and leaned in to kiss him…

Luke left the room in a hurry.

-----

Mara was pacing outside the sparring arena, a towel thrown lazily over her shoulder that she used occasionally to mop the sweat off her forehead. Despite the grueling five-hour workout she had just completed, she wasn't tired. If anything, she was energized. It was nervous energy albeit, but energy nonetheless.

_What will they say?_ Mara wondered. _Will they say I'm ready for my trials? Or will they make another excuse? I don't blame them if they do... I'm still not much of a success. Which they'll prove if they don't let me take my trials. Force, if you had told me a year ago that becoming a Jedi would become the most important thing to me in the sithspawned universe, I'd have killed you... _

A different, far-too-familiar-for-comfort voice in her mind whispered, _It's only important to you because it's means to the end. The end where you will actually be a person that Luke could love. That's what you want, isn't it?_

...Where in Kessl's name are they? Mara refused to acknowledge the voice. _Are they going to tell me I'm still a failure? Or maybe they'll say I'm 'almost ready'. That would hurt almost as much as not being ready for the trials. Shavit, why haven't they contacted me yet! I've been out of the salle for almost a quarter of an hou-_

Her sleek comlink shrieked and Mara Skywalker spun around, her heart suddenly racing. Her green eyes were wide with surprise as she crossed over to her pile of things by the salle door and stooped to pick up the comlink and flick it on. _Some Jedi you are,_ Mara thought chagrined at herself. _Your bloody comlink scared you..._

"Skywalker here," Mara said shallowly, calming herself down till her heartbeat was normal.

"Apprentice Skywalker, this is Master Kam. You are to appear before the Council in half an hour, is that understood?" Kam Solusar's smooth voice was emotionless but still Mara's heart sped up with excitement.

"I understand, Master. I'll be there."

"Good." Kam's voice hid a slight smirk. "We'll see you then."

The comlink went dead in Mara's hand but she could hardly keep from jumping up with glee. Finally the pain was at an end.

Mara was no longer a failure.

-----

Luke Skywalker was waiting for Mara in their quarters at the end of the day, a smile on his face that made the entire room light up with happiness. He was standing next to a low table, spread with a simple meal and illuminated by three small candles. In his hands he held two exquisitely blown glass goblets filled with dark wine.

Mara dropped her bag by the door and walked into the main room and promptly stopped dead when she saw what her husband had arranged for her. Her tired face melted into a rueful smile. "Hey farmboy," Mara drawled softly, walking towards him. 

"Hello Mara." Luke offered her one of the goblets. Mara accepted.

"I have one more mission," Mara confessed. "Then it's my trials they said."

"A mission?" Luke suddenly frowned. "They didn't mention any mission to me – what are they sending you out for?"

"A planet called 'Bandomeer'. There's a rebel terrorist group called Dreamcry that sprung up in the Outer Rim seemingly overnight. They have control over five planetary systems, but Bandomeer seems to be their home base. They were noticed by the NRI about a month ago. All agents sent in to investigate Dreamcry have ended up missing so they've approached the Jedi for help with this several times…" Mara trailed off.

"…But we've declined. Who gave the order to cooperate with them?" Luke asked in amazement. Jedi involvement with Dreamcry was the _last_ thing he wanted to have happen – Leia knew that! Why would she let the Senate bully the Council into it? Why hadn't he been alerted?

"Jedi Knight Organa-Solo." Mara admitted, eyeing the glass in her hand with interest.

"Leia can't do that," Luke said in a stunned voice. "She wouldn't. She knows how important noninvolvement in this case is to me…"

"Kam said that it was a last ditch resort," Mara shrugged and handed the untouched wine back to Luke. "I'll be right back, Luke. I have to go get cleaned up."

Luke watched Mara walk away from him, her mind untroubled by the mission ahead of her – and he wondered if the sudden stab of fear was a warning from the Force to not let her out of his sight.


	8. His Request, Her Vision

**Rachel **

_Great story! Leia's being evil and Mara's really messed up! I'm really curious to see where this goes. _

Hey! I'm glad to see you drop by! Yes, Leia is very evil and Mara is messed up…. But Mara gets better, I promise! And I'm glad you're curious… it means that you might follow it. (fiendishly intelligent)

**Jedi-lover**

_You're back! It has been such a long time since an update that when I got an email story alert for this chapter I didn't even remember what story this was. I am glad to see you haven't given up on this fic. It is very interesting._

AH! HUGS You're back too! I was hoping you wouldn't give up on me! Yeah… I thought that might be the case for you all. I'm really sorry it took me so long… and trust me, I never, ever give up on a fic. (beams happily) Leave it alone for insanely long amounts of time? Yes. Give up? NEVER!

_Mara is still wallowing in depression I see, but I am glad to see her attitude is improving a little bit._

She'll actually be much better in a while! I promise!

_Now I am worried about her. Is Leia setting up some sort of trap for her?_

You know, you'll hate yourself. That idea hadn't even occurred to me, till you said that! But I love it! (works it into the plot)

_I need to go back and read the first few chapters again. I forget why Leia is behaving so badly. She is acting like Mara is the Devil herself._

I haven't said why Leia is behaving the way she is. Just blame it on faulty genetics? I mean, Anakin + Padme Intelligence? NOT! (is angry)

_Now that summer is here and school is out I hope you will have more time to update. I am really looking forward to reading more of this story._

Actually, I graduated about…. 19 days ago, and I started college yesterday… (nervous smile) But it's just math! I still have time for writing! Really!

_By the way, sorry to hear about your jerk boyfriend. I had that happen to me a few times in my youth. Now I look back at them and think "Thank Goodness!" You never realize how better off you are without them until some time passes and you can reflect without all the emotion clouding your judgement. _

I know, but it just… gah. It wasn't/isn't that I particularly am upset about the actual break up or anything (I was kind of expecting it) it just hurt that he picked **HER**…. (shrugs) I'm better off without him. I know that. Trust me, I really do. It's just…. her. and the timing. But I think being split up from him was/is good… I'm a lot more steady without him around to distract me.

_There was a lot of heartbreak when I was young, but it all turned out for the best. Last month I celebrated my 17th Wedding anniversary._

Oh that's WONDERFUL! (HUGS) Congratulations to you and your husband! I'm glad you two are still together. 17 years? What fun! At the risk of sounding like a cheesy announcer, you're an inspiration to us all…. (no really, I meant that)

**CeeKay**

_I went back and reread the whole thing from the beginning to catch up,_

Hehe, why doesn't that surprise me?...

_I noticed something I haven't yet mentioned to you: I absolutely love the way you write Luke. The only way I can describe it is "painfully innocent", if that makes any sense whatsoever._

Yes it does! He's not all that smart as they make him out to be. Well, he is? But they've lately been making him out to be a hermit, mellow version of Solo! And that's just wrong! He's supposed to be this smiling, gentle, polyanna type guy, but he's so… battered by the stupid canon writers! (fumes) I don't hate!hate Luke the way I hate!hate Leia, but for me, Luke has to be written a certain way or I just can't stand him. Hense, my Luke is much less World Weary then the guy in canon.

_I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with the Bandomeer mission . . . it looks like it could start to drive a wedge between Luke and Leia. I wonder why Luke doesn't want the Jedi involved._

The ensuing explosion will be magnificent, I assure you. And I'm not really sure why Luke doesn't want the Jedi involved… I just couldn't think of any other way to tie in the mission into the story very well. P

_Wait a second . . . did Leia send Mara on that mission specifically in the hope of getting rid of her! That's really cruel, to Luke as much as to Mara. I'm really anxious to see where you take this!_

Before you wrote that? No. But now she did! And I agree, it was really cruel. (wibbles)

please, enjoy….

**Chapter Seven**

The next day Mara woke up to the smell of hot chocolate and an empty bed. A faint frown creased her brow, but Luke sent a wave of comfort through their bond and she knew he wasn't far away from her. She smiled and stretched her arms above her head as far as she could, relishing the gentle tranquility of her home. 

Home.

The word brought a smile to Mara's lips. Sometimes it still seemed amazing that someone like her could have a home like _this_…

Luke's face appeared in the doorway, tilted so she couldn't see his body; his hair was falling across his forehead boyishly and a glint in his eyes that made Mara sit up straight in bed. "Good morning?" Mara asked cautiously, unsure what she should do.

"May I come, Mara? Please? Please?" Luke rushed into the room and fell onto his knees before the bed, holding his hands out. "I really want to go!"

"Come?" Mara blinked and yawned, her mind not functioning other then to admire the way Luke's button-down - yet deliciously unbuttoned - shirt hung off of his lean body. "Go?"

"Please, Mara?" Luke begged. "I'll do whatever you say!"

Mara's lips curled up in a crafty smile. "Oh really. _Anything_?" 

Luke paused, the glint in Mara's eyes giving what she asked entirely different connotations then what he had originally intended but... "I... sure?"

Mara leaned forward and then started to crawl across their bed, her hair falling into her face, obscuring her gleaming eyes slightly. "Can't you do better then **that**, farmboy? I promise no lasting damage..."

Luke swallowed. "Okay."

Mara arched an eyebrow. "Okay... what?" Mara perched on the edge of the bed and locked eyes coyly with Luke. 

Luke smiled faintly, not bother to even try to hide the blush that crept up his neck and covered his ears. "I'll do whatever you say, Jade."

Mara leaned forward till her nose almost touched Luke's and their lips were close enough to taste. "What if I said you had to stay behind?"

Luke's jaw dropped at her impish defiance. "I thought you said 'no lasting damage'!" 

Mara rocked back onto her heels, laughing unashamedly at her husband's dismay. Luke felt his heart tug, Mara hadn't laughed at anything like that since... well, in over a year. Since before the accident on Coruscant.

Luke reached out and touched Mara's cheek, vowing to himself that she could keep smiling no matter what happened – and then Mara overbalanced and tumbled off the bed and into Luke's arms.

"I have you now," Luke growled playfully, digging his fingers into her side.

Mara shrieked with laughter, squirming and thrashing about madly. "Stop it Luke! Stop it!"

"Say I can go!" Luke demanded, catching Mara's smaller hands in one of his.

"A'right, A'right!" Mara was gasping for breath when her husband finally relented and stopped tickling her.

"…Sorry." Luke said unrepentantly.

"Sorry my foot," Mara muttered haughtily, pushing her hair away from her face. "You're _gloating_." 

"Me!" Luke looked shocked, then started batting his eyelashes as fast as he could.

"Yes, you." Mara kissed Luke.

-----

Mara yawned silently and scrolled down the information that Tionne had given her on Bandomeer and Dreamcry. Bandomeer, located in the Outer Rim Territories, had been a quiet, primarily agricultural world before the Empire. Peaceful to the point where Jedi outcasts would be shipped out to live there and be farmers – Mara couldn't help shuddering at that knowledge. About twenty years prior to the Empire though, it was found to be rich in ionite, and other raw ore materials. Offworld Mining, a branch of the Offworld Corporation, quickly bought up all the land available and began to strip the planet of the resources that had remained hidden for centuries. Currently, Offworld owned ninety-seven percent of Bandomeer's landmasses. Compared to the wealth of information known about Bandomeer, _nothing_ was known about Dreamcry.

"Ooooh, wooooow…" Mara muttered darkly. "We know that they're based off of Bandomeer. What amazing, thrilling information. Wait- wait, I'm starting to get lightheaded…"

With a groan, Mara smacked her head against the desk and just let her forehead rest against the hard wood. "I am going to kill Kam. Wait. Jedi. I will calmly torture Kam, and block out his screaming with the Force. And cook. Yes. Split-attention exercise. Luke would be proud of me." 

An ancient clock ticked the time away on the desk.

…"Or not," Mara groaned in mock agony. _Kriffitall, I need to finish reading these readouts about it—don't. want. to…_

She rested her aching head on the wood for a while longer, basking in the quiet moments of relaxation as the tension in her neck slowly seeped out.

A knock on her door made Mara sit straight up in her chair, a pensive look on her face, and then she scrambled for the door, knocking her chair over in her haste. "Coming!" she called. "Coming!" she called again, her forehead creasing with confusion as she couldn't identify whoever was at her door.

The door opened at a touch of her hand and Mara immediately slammed her hand back on it, trying to get it closed as the Force screamed at her to get away. The metal of her door grew hot under the barrage of blaster bolts as Mara sprinted for her bedroom, her mind frozen and on autopilot as she threw open a small chest at the foot of the bed she and Luke shared, and tried to find something... and then she was scrambling through a partially open window, and dropped down four stories to land on the moist dirt. Her legs jammed as she tried to stay on her feet. Using the Force to steady her weak knees, she ran. 

A hot red bolt of energy _z-inged_ past Mara's shoulder, burning her shirt and she hurled herself to the right, rolling into thick bracken. The sweltering heat of the jungle pressed in on her as she struggled to clear her mind.

_WHY IS LEIA TRYING TO KILL ME!_

Mara tried desperately to think clearly, knowing that she was missing something important, so terribly important. Another red, hot beam shot past her, and a third slammed into her shoulder.

Mara screamed, and screamed, and screamed…

---

Luke shook Mara's shoulder, harder this time. "Mara? Mara wake up! Mara, honey, please, wake up!" he sighed harshly, pulling Mara off of her chair and into his arms. Her head thumped against his shoulder, and her arms were limp as Luke carried her away from her desk. _Mara, what are you doing? You've been working yourself into the ground for something you didn't even believe in a year ago and you've been all over the place… Why won't you talk to me about it?_

Laying her on their bed, Luke noticed that the chest at the foot of their bed was open, but didn't question it as he tried to wake up his wife. "Mara?" he sat beside her still form on the bed, pushing a few stray strands of hair out of her face. "C'mon Jade, wake up. Don't do this to m-"

Luke's words were cut off as Mara slammed into his throat, flipping him off the bed and pinning him to the floor, one of her hold-out blasters pointed right between his startled blue eyes. Her dark green eyes were fogged, like she wasn't looking at what she was seeing, and her pale lips curved into a cruel sneer.

"Come to finish me off at last, _niftyx_?"

"Eh?" Luke muttered uncomprehendingly.

Mara moved her free hand from his throat to pin down his shoulder and scooted down so she was straddling his waist and not sitting on top of his ribcage. Locking her feet over his thighs, she held him down so tightly with added strength from the Force that Luke couldn't have moved even if he tried.

"Mara…" Luke said in a strangled voice. "What are you doing?"

"Huh?" Mara blinked, and the fog over her eyes receded. Her mouth swung open and she scrambled off of Luke. "Oh Luke, I'm sorry! What did I do? Did I say anything?"

Luke accepted the hand Mara offered him and stood up quickly, shaking his head. Rubbing his neck with his left hand, he looked at Mara warily. "Yeah, you said some things… what was that?"

Mara's face paled, even though her cheeks felt hot as the two suns of Tatooine. She shrugged, trying to play nonchalant. "A vision, or something like that. It happens from time to time… usually I don't attack anyone though."

Luke looked at her without speaking, and Mara squirmed under his intense gaze.

"What?" She finally asked.

Luke shook his head ruefully and tugged on her hand, pulling her close. "Nothing," he whispered as he leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly. "It's just another thing I'm adding to the list of topics we'll be discussing later." 

"'Discussing'?" Mara asked skeptically.

"Mm-hmm," Luke brushed his nose against hers before pulling back and grinning impishly at her. "It'll be fun!"

Mara groaned and let her head thump against his shoulder. _I can't wait,_ she thought sardonically. _Why does he have to _remember_ that still?..._  
.


	9. Bandomeer

**Chapter Eight**

Bandomeer was wet, dark, and depressing. Even though the reports had said that the planet had suffered drastically due to the extensive mining done, Mara hadn't fully been prepared for the rampant sorrow that screamed through the Force. The weather was as desolate as the world it covered. The sunlight was harsh, and the clouds were a sickly grey color that made even the sunlight seem cold. Or at least, that was how it looked through the transperasteel cockpit of _Fire's Freedom_. Mara sighed. Even the planet itself was without hope.

Luke put his hand on her shoulder carefully, he was still slightly jumpy around Mara even though two weeks had passed since she had attacked him. "Hey, it's going to be okay."

Mara gave him an absent-minded smile. "I know. I just have this funny feeling like if I get out, something's going to go wrong."

Luke squeezed her shoulder. "C'mon, it'll be okay. Let's get this over with and haul you back to the trials, woman!"

Mara smirked at him, "I hear you, Skywalker."

"Finish powering down, and I'll go get our bags." Luke kissed the back of her head and left her to her precious ship. Mara smiled faintly and quickly finished powering down her beloved ship before snapping off her restraints and heading for the exit ramp. Luke was waiting for her there, their bag over one of his shoulders and a bulky, cloth-wrapped gift dangling from his right hand.

"I'm not a knight yet, Luke." Mara told him, figuring that the gift was a coming-of-age-type-thing but wanting to know what it was all the same.

"I know." Luke smiled boyishly and tossed it to her. "It's an early anniversary present. Open it, please?" He pleaded sheepishly, his ears turning slightly pink.

Mara caught it easily, her own smile reflecting the joy in Luke's eyes. "Alright, for you, love."

Whatever Mara had been planning to say, she couldn't recall it once she saw the silver swirls of ancient Corellian that had been woven into the edge of a thick dark grey robe. She let the wrapping fall to the ground and shook out the sweeping garment, her eyes tracing the shadowy armorweave in amazement. "It's beautiful, Luke," was all she managed.

Luke's smile faded from his lips even though it still shone through his eyes with a strength that warmed Mara clear down to her toes. "Like you."

Mara shook her head bashfully, and wondered if _this_ would be the time to tell him… and then shook her head. "Not as beautiful as you seem to think."

"Good point, you're even more beautiful then that."

Mara let her arms drop from holding the robe in front of her. "Stars, Skywalker, we've been over this before."

"You, my love, are uncharacteristically trying to hide from the truth. It is my duty to see that you don't." Luke countered.

"Why is it so important to you?"

"Because you're mine, and you really are the most beautiful woman in the universe."

Mara could feel her cheeks turning as red as her hair. "Fine, but, armorweave farmboy? Don't you trust me to take care of myself?" _Not _just _myself either,_ Mara thought guiltily. _I really have to tell him about them soon._

"You're an angel, Mara. Can you really blame me for it?" Luke asked her earnestly.

"If I really _was_ an angel, I wouldn't _need_ protection," Mara countered. "Besides. Angels are blond, like you."

"Oh no, they are **not** blond!" Luke objected. "All the art _proves_ that they have hair the color of the sun."

"Yeah, blonde!"

"No! Phoenix colored!"

"No, blonde, Farmboy!"

"No, Jade, phoenix!"

-----

Mara and Luke walked quietly into the lobby of Offworld's headquarters. Both of them were wearing dark Jedi robes, only Luke's were pure black, and Mara's were a dark grey with silver designs worked into the edges. The large airy building was constructed with thick transperasteel and metal bars, giving it a cold atmosphere.

Mara drew herself inward, her sharp jade eyes catching the security measures that Offworld seemed to think were needed to protect them. Cameras: hidden and visible. Infrared sensors, disruptor beams, B4-J4 droids, and wiry guards armed with A280's. Mara suppressed a dark streak of amusement at the 'heavy' armorment that the establishment boasted. _Childs play, the lot of it,_ Mara snorted. _Hell, if I was still the Hand…_

A tall, aging woman with sleek white hair and coal blue eyes was waiting for them at a black marble counter. When Mara and Luke stopped in front of her, she bowed her head to them.

"Greetings, Jedi. I am Falynn Barcrion, head of Offworld. When my people told me that you were coming, I felt it necessary to come meet you face to face." She held out a slender hand to them. "Thank you very much for coming, Dreamcry has been causing many of my people to be… uneasy. I can't tell you how much your presence here is helping."

Mara pushed back her hood, and shook Falynn's hand. "Mara Skywalker; I hope I can live up to your expectations, but, it's the New Republic you should be thanking, not the Jedi."

"Oh, but the Jedi could've said 'no' to the New Republic. After all, the Jedi are not the New Republic's pawns, is that not so?" Falynn smiled faintly, her arched eyebrows not revealing anything.

"The Jedi want only peace for the galaxy, Madam." Luke said firmly, stepping beside his wife and pushing back his hood.

Falynn looked mildly astonished, but held out her hand to Luke. "Well, well, well. It is a pleasure to meet you, Master Jedi. My people had not informed me that _you_ were part of the team sent to my planet…"

"I was a last minute addition," Luke said smoothly.

"I see," Falynn said archly, nodding slightly. "Where are the rest of your teammates?"

Mara blinked. "We're… it?"

Falynn blinked back. "I beg your pardon? I was lead to believe that the Jedi were sending a team to deal with this situati-"

Mara's face tightened, her hard eyes cutting off Falynn's words, but she didn't speak.

"I… see." Falynn said in a tone that said she really didn't see. "Well."

"You are supplying us with living quarters?" Mara stated the question as a demand.

"Yes." Falynn nodded abruptly and walked between the two Jedi, heading for a lift. "This way."

Luke and Mara turned silently and followed the cold, black-garbed woman.

------------------

A/N: I am so. So. SO sorry. I had this finished, literally, 8 or so months ago. I realize what an awful author I am about this, but, I swear I will never abandon this fic. I love it. I have to finish it. Part of the reason I haven't written much is (excuses...) that I actually lost the plotline. I remember most of it, but I really hated losing it. The second half of the reason is that I've been... having some difficulties with one of my friends (best friend, actually) and I really have only wanted to spend time writing OF. Anyways, I'm back though. I should have the next chapter up in a few days. I am opening up a section of my forum for if you want to talk with me. PM's work though too.

Feel free to shoot me if I don't get the chapter up. _grin_


	10. Endings

**A/N:** I'm sorry. Please, keep reading. I promise I'll explain everything.**  
**

**Chapter Nine**

It was dark and cold. The sky had been overcast for the last two days and not even a single ray of sunshine managed to reach the planet's surface. There were large puddles everywhere, deep and cold and the falling rain was heavy as it sent ripples through the water on the ground. The streets were made of gleaming slabs of stone, and the further that the two Skywalkers went from the center of the city the more splinters and cracks appeared in its almost painfully correct surface. Mara cursed darkly as Luke directed the two of them down a narrow alley, his own face drawn with lack of sleep.

On either side of them, walls soared up into the clouds, the rain reflecting in distorted images on the dark metal. The atmosphere in the narrow street was muted, yet even so, it was odd that there was no warning or even worry when the two Jedi slipped out of it and into a square courtyard that was about ten meters wide.

Luke abruptly frowned, "There… Mara, I think-"

"Entirely too much?" Mara teased, trying to lighten the tense lines in Luke's back.

"Ha ha." Luke grimaced. "Everything is too… too calm."

Mara didn't say anything as she refused to smile at him.

"And don't say 'poor farmboy'."

Mara reached out and snagged Luke's left hand in hers and squeezed it gently. "I'll be good."

Luke harrumphed and rolled his eyes skeptically at her. "In this lifetime? Really Mara, you _must_ be kidding me!"

Mara pulled her hand free and smacked his shoulder. "Cut the drama queen, farmboy. You're not Lando."

Luke shuddered. "Ma-ra," he whined. "You're going to give me nightmares now…"

"Hardly, Skywalkers. Is this the best you can do?"

Luke and Mara spun around, pulling out their lightsabers and dropping their smiles. A hologram of a tall woman stood in the center of the courtyard, a couple of feet behind them. Luke disengaged his lightsaber, but Mara only tightened her guard.

"Well? Aren't you going to ask me who I am? Or at least why I'm talking to you?"

_Something about the hologram isn't right,_ Mara sent to Luke. _Can you sense a way to turn it off? You're better with mechanics._

_Don't be ridiculous, Mara._ Luke's tone was mild. _You have to learn to trust more._

"Greetings, madam." Luke bowed to the hologram, and the dull apprehension that had been following them all day suddenly twisted into vindictive glee as a blaster bolt hit Luke in the back and he was thrown forward onto the ground.

"LUKE!" Mara shrieked, her lightsaber falling from her numbed hands as she fell to her knees beside her husband. Her mind was fogged; the bond between them was splintered, fragmented and it was getting worse every second. Her fingers pressed into his neck, confirming what the Force told her, but she refused to believe that anything could happen to Luke. His admonishment was sounding in her ears when she raised her panic-stricken face to the hologram. "Please, call for help, I don't think he'll ma-"

"Well done." The hologram cut in. "It was all a game you know. Whatever you said, he would do the exact opposite. It's a method of control. If he is proven right, you doubt yourself more. That means that if you hadn't been suspicious, Skywalker wouldn't have been so trusting. Tell me, how does it feel to be the cause of his death?"

Mara's eyes flamed in her pale face, but words escaped her as she tried to control her emotions, to let the Force take her pain away so that she could resist the Dark side. Then the small voice inside her head whispered to her, and all of the fear, pain and loneliness that she had been holding back slid over her nerve endings, scraping them raw and – _Are you willing to listen to me now? Can't you see that what she's saying is the truth? Luke has been _using _you. Controlling you._

_No. Luke was just warm-hearted – he trusted everyone. He wasn't controlling me and get out of my head dammit! He wasn't controlling me!_

"Oh yes, because you are. You know you are, Mara Skywalker. You've killed your husband, just like you've killed everyone else in your life. Tell me, how does it feel?"

"Burn in hell," Mara whispered, trying to keep the whispers away. "I didn't kill him! It wasn't my fault!"

_Oh, but it was your fault. You couldn't have done it better if you had pulled the trigger yourself…._

"Mara," the hologram said gently. "Turn around."

Mara twisted her head around and her entire body froze in horror. The first shot tore through the back of her shoulders and she tried to dive out of the way. The Force was silent – serene. Mara called her lightsaber to her and she held herself at the ready. She ignored the burning across her back, her entire body tuned for battle as black-armored soldiers slipped into the courtyard. Pale red barriers _hissed_ into place in the exits, sealing them all into the small opening. She panicked, instinctively reaching out for the Dark side, the rich electric sensation sliding across her nerves, before she jerked herself back, her eyes dilated with the realization of what she was doing. Her breath came in harsh gasps.

The hologram sighed. "Deal with them, but remember your orders."

Mara tightened her grip on the slender metal hilt, rocking her weight back from one foot to the other. There was a sudden absence of _something_ and Mara spun around, striking out with her lightsaber at where the hologram had been.

"The Lady is gone, Ms. Skywalker," one of the black-garbed men said politely as some of the others snickered at her hasty, and unwarranted, attack. "If we may?"

"May what?" Mara challenged, coming back to face them, refusing to be embarrassed.

"If we may get on with It," another man gestured with the modified DC-17a he held so casually in his arms.

"Killing you, that is," a woman added fiendishly. "Oh, wait, we're supposed to make your life a living hell first."

"What kind of mercenaries are you!" Mara broke in hysterically, the connection she and Luke had splintering in her mind, fracturing beyond repair. "Make my life a living hell! What kind of orders are those? And why aren't you fighting or- or _SOMETHING_?"

"We were waiting for that," a cool voice said behind her. She only had time to sharply draw a breath and twist her muscles to turn before the cool metal barrel of a rifle slammed into the side of her head, and the pain, disappeared.

---------

The sky was black when Mara awoke, and a thin crescent moon shone brightly through a hole in the clouds. It was raining heavily, but the water-drops were soft, and Mara didn't notice it at first. She opened her eyes slowly; her brain was heavy and unresponsive and it took a few moments for her to realize that the warmth she felt was actually physical pain. She gingerly lifted her head off of the ground, trying to look around. She grimaced, blinking in the falling rain, but she couldn't hold her head up, and it thudded back onto the ground. A high keening sound pierced through the air; at first she thought it might be her own voice, but only a few moments told her that it was sirens.

Sirens? But—Luke.

_LUKE!_

_He's gone._ A familiar, dry voice whispered in her mind. _What? Did you really think he'd stick around with you after everything you put him through? First you abandon your Master, so it only makes sense for Luke to abandon you. You do see this, right?_

_Where's Luke!_

_Who's Luke?_ The voice seemed amused, and Mara's heart froze. Y_ou see, that shattered feeling that you're trying to ign-_

_He isn't dead_, Mara begged. _He can't die—I—I'm to be a Jedi. He's the father to my children. He—_

_Oh shut up. Children? You? Do you honestly think you could be a mother? You couldn't handle the responsibility. You'd leave them, just like you left your Master, and—_

_I didn't leave him!_

_DO NOT INTERRUPT ME! You left him. You doubted his power, you actually_ assumed_ that he could be killed. You could have saved him, if you had just wanted to, but, you didn't. Instead, you married his killer._

_Why did you have to come back? I was happy. Luke loved me, that's something that He never did._

_Oh Mara,_ the voice sighed. _Don't you remember anything I've told you? He could've loved you, he really could've. All you had to do was be worthy of it. Besides, you weren't happy: you were in denial. _I had_ to come back. I'm you._

_No, you're not. I won't let you be._

_Foolish child, you don't have to be scared of me. I just want to help save you. Protect you. Why would I want to hurt myself?_

_I don't need to be saved_! Mara argued, desperate to make the voice shut up, desperate to make it go away. _I'm a Jedi!_

_You could never be a Jedi, Mara. You're a killer._

-----

Next Chapter should be done in.. a week or so?


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Ten**

Han leaned back against the counter, feet crossed and his arms folded across his chest, staring at his sister-in-law floating in a bacta tank. She looked calm and untroubled, which seemed utterly out of place in the chaos outside of her room. Anakin had been the first one to realize what had happened, and if it hadn't been for Chewie's intervention at the spaceport, all three of the children would have stolen the Millennium Falcon and traveled to Bandomeer without so much as a by-your-leave.

Leia's expression had been priceless. Of course, the humor in the situation had quickly fled as her anger had risen in epic proportions. If Han had ever had reason to doubt Leia's Force abilities, they were put to rest when she destroyed everything in their bedroom except for the one holo of their wedding. The bed, the wardrobe, the knickknacks—everything was either shattered, crushed or simply vaporized.

The children seemed to know something that they weren't sharing about that entire incident and Jaina was doing her best to keep their mother from talking with either of the two boys, and Anakin wouldn't even look directly at Leia. None of them would explain what had happened.

Han wasn't too keen on finding the answer.

A 2-1B droid entered the room, heading straight for one of the control panels. Before the doors could fully close, Anakin rushed though them, and Han pushed away from the counter.

"Hey kid, where's the fire?"

"Ha ha ha, dad. That joke's been old for years." Anakin blithely pushed his bangs away from his eyes, acting as though nothing was out of the ordinary. "How is she?"

"Ask the doc," Han jerked his thumb in the 2-1B's direction. "He claims only next of kin can get that kind of information. Which would be... not us."

Anakin grinned. "I see your dilemma."

Han waited a few moments. "Well?"

"Weeeell?" Anakin drew the word out.

"Well what?" Han asked, impatience and amusement warring in his voice.

"That, my good man, is privileged information." Anakin said loftily, trying to toss his hair like his mother did when she was furious with someone. "I need to reprogram the droid."

Before Anakin had finished the sentence, Han was shaking his head. "Oh frack no."

Anakin's eyes widened outrageously, and Han bit down on another—worse—curse as he realized what he'd said.

"No telling your mother about that, young man, understood?" Han warned, shifting slightly.

"You mean I _can_ make the droid tell me what I want to know? Thanks dad!"

Han narrowed his eyes, and Anakin smirked back at him.

"If your mother ever finds out about this, you do realize that I never gave you permission, right?" Han finally said, leaning in conspiratorially and Anakin's answering grin was more than enough to seal the bargain.

-----------------------

I'm scared.

I know, me too.

How did it happen?

It wasn't her fault. She.. she isn't that kind of person.

I know. Aunt Mara brought me Jian after her last trip to Corellia.

Mom almost killed her for that. Grass snakes are apparently really dangerous.

I know, but she is such a nice snake.

Aunt Mara was going to teach me how to juggle fire.

Not if I don't talk her out of it first, sis. You don't need to know to do that.

Aw come on, Jaca, what could it hurt?

Jaya...

Fine.

It's okay. I didn't think he could die.

I didn't think he could either, but—.

Mom is still furious.

She's always furious when it comes to Aunt Mara.

I don't like her when she's mad.

I know, but don't worry about it. We'll look out for each other.

I know. I sent the message.

I hope she doesn't do anything too stupid when she finds out.

We _had_****to tell her. Lying to her would only have made the situation worse.

I wish Aunt Mara were our mom. Mom is scary.

I know.

----------------------

Leia snarled at the holoscam, but Tionne's calm façade did not falter.

"I am sorry, President Organa-Solo, but we cannot without due course or reason throw someone out of the Order. Mara Skywalker has never once given us any reason to doubt her devotion to our ideals, and has proven her worth—"

Leia interrupted her. "EXACTLY MY POINT!!" Tionne's expression strained as she tried to not react as Leia continued. "That niftyx killed her husband! And you're too stupid to realize it!!"

"Madam President!" Tionne insisted, trying to calm the other woman down. "I recognize that you are distressed; the loss of Master Skywalker has taken us all by surprise. We had hoped to keep him with us for many years, yet it was the will of the Force that he be taken, and it is not ours to question it. Besides—do you really have so little faith in your brother as to believe that he could be killed by Knight Skywalker? He has great strength."

Unsurprisingly, Leia was not particularly calmed by this. "HAD great strength, you—you—"

The door to Leia's office slid open and she spun around sharply, her lips curving around several choice insults till she saw Winter standing there quietly, a reproving look upon her face. Leia swallowed the words with difficulty, her expression becoming defiant. "Yes?"

"Leia, the twins just sent word that Mara woke up."

-----

Mara lay on her back staring at the squares on the ceiling, not even counting them. The room was cold, and she was dressed in a thin gown, covered by a thermal blanket that only served to make her colder than she already was. Her muscles were completely lax, her breathing was even. One of the doctors, a human, had mentioned something about a coma, but Mara was awake. Aware.

She was aware of the heat of Anakin's body pressed on top of her arm where he was sprawled, staring intently at her face. She could feel the anxious attention of the twins standing by the corners at the end of her bed. She could feel Han's control as he tried to keep from pouncing on her and demanding to know what happened to Luke.

Mara blinked.

She didn't say anything. She didn't have anything _to _say.

"Aunt Mara?" Anakin's little voice broke through the fog surrounding her, and she wanted to smile.

No, there wasn't anything to say.

_Well, of course there isn't anything to say_, the Voice huffed. _I mean, what would you say? 'Sorry, I was a failure and this was my punishment—to have Luke taken away, it was all my fault.'? Oh I'm sure they would believe you._

_I wish they would,_ Mara thought quietly._ It would mean that they understood that I deserved it all._

_They should've just let you die. _The voice snarled, and Mara had never agreed with it more.

&&&&&&

A/N: I'm sorry for the lateness and the overall awfulness of this chapter. The chapter I really wanted to write couldn't be written, and several OF's have sort of stolen my muse. But the next chapter should be speedy--It is one that is close to my heart.  



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